Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Has a SpongeBob SuperFan Just Figured Out the Krabby Patty Secret Recipe?

Earlier this month, it was revealed that a fan had perfected the KFC recipe from home, revealing the secret 11 herbs and spices that go into making chicken that is Finger Licking Good. Now, a SpongeBob SquarePants fan has gone one-stop better - and maybe - just maybe - figured out the Krabby Patty secret recipe!


Tacomaster posted the following on the SpongeBuddy Mania SpongeBob SquarePants fan forums:

"Greetings, bottom feeders! For the past few minutes, I have been hard at work trying to figure out the Krabby Patty secret formula, using clues throughout the series, articles on the SpongeBob wiki(luckily, there is no Poseidon Powder to be found), and even fake recipes(there is no Plankton or disulfide in my recipe, either) to create at least a rough outline for a Krabby Patty. But enough introduction, because it’s time for the moment you’ve been waiting for!

Secret Formula

  • Patty - These are generally vegetarian, as confirmed by both Stephen Hillenberg and Vincent Weller, but can also be beef(in Pickles, Bubble Bass orders ”bossy”, or beef, patties).
  • A Pinch of Salt - Salt is confirmed to be a part of the actual recipe, and the portion(a pinch) comes from the fake one.
  • Flour - Also confirmed as part of the recipe.
  • Barnacle Shavings - See flour. If I had to guess, the land equivalent of this would be potato skins, as evidenced by Chocolate with Nuts’ billboard for Barnacle Chips. There are other meals with barnacles in them(barnacle loaf and Swedish barnacle balls), but they are generally meat based, and as we know, there is no meat in a Krabby Patty(unless you ask for it, of course).
  • Tumeric - See flour.
  • 4 Teaspoons of Chopped Onions - From the fake recipe.
  • A Cup of Love - From the fake recipe, but love is also used in preparing the Krabby Patty and is implied to make them so good.
  • Spicy Coral Dust - This is where we get to straw grasping. In Friend or Foe, Mr. Krabs accidentally knocked seven seasonings into a vat of the prototypical Patty mixture, which resulted in the modern day Krabby Patty. (I made sure seven is also the number of ingredients in the formula, minus the Patty itself and the immeasurable love.) One of the bottles had an image of fire on it, implying it to be spicy, Coral dust, mentioned to be extra spicy, is mentioned in the fake recipe in Evil Spatula(although fire algae paste is mentioned, although that’s not specifically mentioned as spicy, and we only have seven herbs and spices to work with here). The land equivalent is chili powder.
  • Secret Ingredient - A pinch of chum. The ingredient is kept under wraps in Patty Caper, but in Friend or Foe, the recipe is revealed to have a pinch of chum in it. This would reveal why it’s so secret- nobody in Bikini Bottom would willingly eat chum. And while in real life, chum is made of chopped fish, in Bikini Bottom, chum is made of vegetarian ingredients and even has had multiple recipes, all of which are disgusting.

There’s also the Secret Sauce. If we go by the commercial in As Seen on TV, we can deduce by the missing ingredients normally on a patty that the sauce is...

  • Tomatoes/Ketchup
  • Mustard
  • Pickles/Pickle Relish
  • Mayonnaise

Most of these ingredients are also found in actual restaurant secret sauces (specifically, ketchup, relish, and mayonnaise). Speaking of which, after looking up various assembly methods and Patty pictures, I can infer the assembly goes like this...

First bun, then patty, followed by tartar sauce, ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, cheese, pickles, onions, tomatoes, lettuce, secret sauce, and bun, in that order! Well... not exactly. The assembly varies from episode to episode, sometimes within the episode itself(looking at you, Pickles). Not to mention, patties can be made to order(extra onions, hold the mayonnaise, King Size Ultra Supreme with the works, double batter fried on a stick, Himalayan salt, smoked paprika, micro greens, aged Gouda, Double Triple Bossy Deluxe, four by four, animal style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim). Not to mention this is just a rough outline and probably not the actual formula... Overall, we may never know the actual formula, but I feel a little better for having gotten a little closer. Feel free to experiment with this, have fun, and most importantly- do not forget the pickles."

Has Tacomaster achieved what Plankton has failed miserably at for years? Or is Mr. Krabs' Krabby Patty secret recipe still safe? Let me know in the comments below!

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